How To Stop Your Husband From Going Hunting

How to stop your husband from going hunting did not come out of my mouth however, someone did type this in google and reached my site. 

My immediate reaction was I could never imagine thinking this, feeling this and then searching this.  I understand that everyone’s situation is different.  There are some women that just like having their husbands around, maybe they have kids at home and it’s difficult when their husband is gone or maybe it has something to do with trust.  Whatever their reason, it was important enough to search.

Then I received this comment on my post about things to do while your husband is hunting.

this list is so stupid, well things on it that make it easier for the lazy hubby to find the tv remote when they come home after a nice day away from home in the wooods w/nature! lazy husbands suck!!!!!!!!! poster you need to post a TO DO LIST FOR the wives when 4 when (the HUBBY’s) come home! PLZE get up to date in your time………..

I can only share with you the things that I do while my husband is hunting. What person loves to clean? Not many but it has to get done and for me that is the perfect time. As for a list for my husband when he gets home after enjoying himself in the woods, he’s a grown man and knows what needs to be done. We don’t have list’s for eachother. We don’t tell eachother what needs to get done nor when. I think in both situations there is something much deeper going on than just a problem with deer hunting and I would like to address this next week in a post.

I’m not speaking for other wives, I can only speak for me. I’m sure there are lazy husbands out there but my husband isn’t one of them. He helps around the house with cleaning, laundry, dishes and cooking without being asked. He works a 40+ hour week, takes care of the house, yard and anything else that needs his attention. He isn’t one to sit down and enjoy himself all that much. So when hunting season approaches I have no problem with him taking time to do what he enjoys. He deserves it.

As for me getting up to date in my time – or the times.  If you’re a regular reader here you will understand the following …

After spending a long day cleaning and making my home sparkle for my husband, I will await his arrival home after a long day at the office while I sit here in my June Cleaver dress and pearls. I’ll be sure to take his shoes off for him, light his cigar, have his 4 course meal on the table and a homemade apple pie. 

Oh heavens, I forgot to iron my apron.

39 thoughts on “How To Stop Your Husband From Going Hunting”

  1. That is one interesting comment that they left. Sounds like this lady might be stuck in 1954.

    I help around the house, do the laundry, do the dishes, and whatever else has to be done as well, so if I want to take off and go hunting for a day that is my choice….and one my wife supports I might add.

    I think your commenter needs to get with the times:):):):)

  2. Pingback: Outdoor Activities
  3. You do wear a dress with white gloves and heels to clean in right? I think your reader may have their thoughts confused.. When my hunter comes home, if my house is clean and things are arranged..then that makes some time for US..!! It is quite possible that someone may not be in a very happy relationship?? just saying~

    markys last blog post..Monday woes..

  4. We don’t tell each what to do around here and much like you said, we are adults and know what needs to be done. I’m a grown-up and don’t want to be parented anymore. If anyone tried to tell me what to do then I will rebel and never do it, so I don’t boss and don’t want to be bossed.

    If I notice something that needs to be done, I either do it myself or keep my mouth shut. It all works out in the end.

    DeeBees last blog post..

  5. Geez… husband and I have been married nearly 30 years…we would have never lasted this long if it wasn’t a partnership. We both have always worked full time he has his resposibilities around the house and I have mine.
    Likewise, I have interests outside of the house and so does he.
    Sure there are times when it may be a little one sided, but the scale tips both ways.
    And I like to wait on him occasionally…but when he surprises me with flowers on Sundays, just because…it reminds me why I like to do that.

  6. It sounds like your commentor doesn’t have a husband who hunts, or is a man who isn’t a hunter.

    My husband isn’t lazy either and also helps me out around the house. Sometimes he comes in and just starts cleaning. Talk about feeling lazy when that happens.

    Don’t change a thing about your site or your list. There are always going to be naysayers.

    Joannas last blog post..Goodbye old friend

  7. There are definitely deeper issues at work inside that commenter’s head. Healthy relationships are about both teamwork and compromise. And healthy relationships allow room for separate hobbies and interests. It’s all part of the dynamics of human relationships.

    haleyhughess last blog post..Ghosts of Chicago’s past

  8. Love how you end this post, Jody – made me laugh! As others have said – no need to change anything here – and judging from how you end this post, that thought never entered your mind anyways!

    I’ll second what Blessed said and leave it at that. :)

  9. I hope this woman reads these comments. After the talk we had today about other things, her comments really irritated me! What is with these people. She obviously has time on her hands in order to search the web. I want to punch her in her eye! Keep on posting your thoughts. After all, THEY ARE YOURS!!! She doesn’t have to like it. Geez!

  10. I think it all boils down to one word, balance. We each do our part to make sure everything gets done – and when it does – I go hunting, she goes shopping. Its what makes us both happy in our individual ways. Later we reconnect and do something together. Its not rocket science…

  11. You know what I LOVE about when my husband leaves to hunt (like now) – I clean AND my house actually STAYS clean! I don’t have to worry about what to cook for dinner (dd and I had cereal last night LOL) and I can go shopping and not worry about what time I need to be home!

    Do I miss him? sure! but I LOVE me some alone time too!!! After all, it’s worked this was for over 22 years now!!


  12. So what is wrong with me? Married for over 20 years… We love eachother alot. Many times we are best friends. When we were married, we were best friends for sure. We were ALWAYS together. We loved to do everything together. I look for ways to get the family together to do things; it’s hard with the kids growing up; everyone goes in different directions. My heart is for us to be together. He’s often going to the store with a kid or alone; I’m often going my own direction; responsibilites of one kind or another; and then some exercise.

    So if he goes away for a one day hunt; after he’s waited all year — well that’s just not enough! He gets his kill to quickly and I feel bad for him; thinking we all need to go hunting with him to stretch this thing out. But now that he’s away on his elk hunt, away for five days now; I barely hear from him at all, finally on this day; on this afternoon, I’m getting angry. Hurt. Hurt that out of so little vacation that he has, he chooses to go sit in a tree and hike in the woods with some other guy!

    It makes me angry – obviously I’m jealous; for myself and my family. But – I’ve been busy all week; I have yet more responsibilities tonight… If he were home I couldn’t even but exchange words with him this evening.

    So why am I so upset?

  13. Wow. I’ve disagreed with everything everyone said. I’ve respected it, but I’ve disagreed nonetheless. My husband is always hunting. Her isn’t lazy and for the most part a great husband and amazing dad.. I just don’t get breaks like he does. He has softball, poker games with friends, fantasy football and hunting! I get out once a year (for 4 days). I’m not into sports so its not like I blame him for being involved in them, it just seems one sided. And I want him home. Most times when he gets home (always late and way after dark), he plops down and watches football and eats the dinner I made. Um excuuuuse meee?! I love him, but I hate his priorities..

  14. That’s all fine and dandy….my husband is very hard working, he does help with the housework, the laundry the yard etc. etc. However, I have a full time job also, I do dishes, cook, clean, laundry, etc. etc. but if I also rewarded myself with constant out of town weekends and 4-5 week long hunting trips CPS would take my unattended children because no one would be around to be a parent. I also am hardworking, make a very good salary…equivalent to my husbands…I haven’t had a vacation in 3 years!!!! Let’s wake up dad’s and smell the coffee….you can hunt when your kids are grown!!!!

  15. Just got home from my first elk hunting trip with my amazing husband. This trip was a special gift from me to him… He loves to elk hunt, I love him, and he loves me… It was very special. Hunting pressure had already pushed the animals out, but we had an awesome time hiking miles through forests and I learned so much. We laughed and smiles, sometimes held hands… My stealthy awesome hunter is a great man, I sure love him. What a special time!

  16. Well I have had it with hunting!!! I have always hated it ( I saw BAMBI at a young age) I was never around it as a kid. When my husband and I were dating he didnt go very that time I was more important,,Now that Im exposed to it and married to a killer..I HATE IT..I dont like how they entice deer with deer pee and or food..its not a fair sport…what does the deer have for protection?? or a weapon???and what kind of “sport” is it anyway??? all they do is sit in a tree for 12 to 16 hours and you know they are sleeping…they are all a bunch fat lazy men in my opinion…my husband included!!! I get so sick of sitting home cooking, cleaning and chasing a 2 year old around…when he does get home he is soo tired he just falls asleep in front of the tv,,,the other night, he actually asked me the change the babys diaper….What??? get out of your ^#&%%(* tree and help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PS we have a freezer full of deer meat…nobody eats it…im not cooking it and God forbid he cooks anything….And any woman out there that likes hunting is a dike!!!

  17. I have 4 children at home and a husband that thinks he is entitled to week long out of state hunting trips. He is a great man and wonderful father but I think this is selfish. I work full time and never get a moment to myself. It is extremely hard when he goes hunting. I am already stretched thin. I love him and want him to have time to himself but it is just too hard for one person to manage. I am extremely jealous of the double standard. I would not dream of thinking it is okay to leave him to work and deal with 4 young children so that I could go do something I enjoy for a week. He does it quiet a few times a year and it is accepted.

  18. It can be selfish; but it doesn’t have to be… Leave the kids with grandma and go hunting with the man. Make him the best food and be his woman out there, do a good job and he may never want another hunting partner, except only you. It’s a make it or break it thing, make a choice and give.

    To the other woman, you’re complaining about changing a baby’s diaper, are you kidding me? Are you so selfish that rather than lovingly take care of your child, you’re concerned about who is going to lift their arm to do the work? How outrageously selfish.

    Not all hunters are fat and lazy sloths. Encourage your hunter to become a bowman… Might make him get fit, mine is extremely fit.

    You can make hunting an opportunity for romance — or an opportunity to wine and complain.

  19. Susie sounds like a submissive idiot!! oh come on…what woman in her right mind would want to sit in a tree just to make a man happy?????? as for a making a good meal, he can stay home and eat it with his family,,,why would you tell someone to leave their kids with their grandmother??? Im sure the kids would rather be home…what about school…and what the hell is sooo romantic about murdering a deer??? what so you cand gut it together>???? GROSS!! shut up susie!! be a real woman and stop chasing after a man who dont want to be around you..

  20. I think my issue is meeting someone later in life that I want to be with and not really understanding the whole hunting/fishing thing. We dont have a ton of years behind us that have made me tired of him or look forward to time alone.
    Ok,, I get wanting to go fish & hunt,, but what I dont get is the ‘all the time’ part. I think it sucks and it’s selfish as hell.
    A ton of money gets spent on gas alone,, let alone all the other stuff that goes along with it. Not to mention that the past couple years his son has started showing interest and that excites him to the point of sharing even more of the cost to help cover his stuff.
    Ok,, once in awhile is one thing,,, not all the time.
    ANd the part that annoys me,,, is how we cant afford this or that, or we cant do this or that,, yet he can go all the time and pick up other costs to do it.
    AND its not just hunting,, because other times its fishing too.
    Yes he works full time, and he helps around the house and all those things,
    but it still seems selfish as hell to me after a certain point.
    Any time he’s getting ready to go on his trips,, he has tunnel vision the days prior to it,, then when he gets back he has to spend time doing all the things that he couldve already had done but was gone,, so that takes more of our time away,,, plus all his laundry time,, several loads.
    Were not married, but weve lived together for about 6 years now.
    I dont mind him having his time, OR going once in awhile,, but not ALL THE TIME… Oh, and then theres the new found son hunting needing practise time so that takes up time on the wkends too,,,,
    whatever,,, I dont get it and its bugging me more and more,, and I’ve tried talking and it doesnt matter.
    Maybe I need a hobby too,, but I really dont see how that is going to justify any of it and I seriously wonder if after all this time that this may lead to our splitting up. I dont want it to but at the same time, I see a side to him that does not impress me whatsoever and it kinda worries me.
    IF on one of the first hunts he were to get ”his kill” as someone earlier put it,,,, that still would not stop him from going again,, and again and again ect.
    It IS an EXPENSIVE hobby and IF it were once a year or even twice ,, I havent minded that in the past,,, but NOT ALL THE TIME,, not every weekend.
    I end up sick of it all before it even gets started. Especially when his whole mind set changes in preparation for it all.
    There have been times I would almost rather it be another woman,, at least I’d know how to compete with that. AND as far as the way it feels inside,, it sucks because I dont feel happy about it, OR understand it.
    At least not every time.
    We get along well for the most part, and we care about each other, and I dont mean to make him out to be a bad person because he’s not. He’s a good and kind man and I think the world of him,,, but this hunting issue is really starting to take its toll on my gutt.
    No woman even in the best of relationships wouldnt at least wonder OR think about whether or not something else is going on,, its human nature and I hate the thought of it. I’ve seen those hunting shows, they have groupies at those places just like rock stars and sports people.
    it’s pathetic that a woman has to feel that she needs to ‘go with them’ just in order to have time with them,,, like i said ,,, I dont get it
    sorry bout this ,,, felt the need to vent and found this site

    1. All of you sound very young with small children – or most of you. I’m telling you to move forward if you can. If that means seeing a therapist to advise you or just seeking personal happiness. Something that will make you happy. I’ve been married to my husband for 31 years and it has been a fight for so long about hunting, fishing, sports. He makes his own bows and arrows so naturally there wasn’t much time for family or me. Add this to a man who doesn’t talk much and just isn’t a communicator at all and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. When he comes home he sits in front of the television then moves to the bed. So you ask me why I didn’t get out a long time ago – well there was the children and what would my church say – friends – plus I didn’t work then. Also I thought I could fix it. As most women – it would’ve been hard to leave. But as I look back – it was hard staying. If I could tell you all the things I’ve given up. Because he is emotionally constipated, narcissistic and mute our marriage will never have the substance that it needs. What it needs to have a really close relationship that one needs to have a – well, a good marriage. I’m seeing a psychologist now and I never thought I would need to do this, but in order to stay in this marriage I know that I will always need to. It’s lonely, very lonely.

      1. Dear LW, there’s a movie that you might give your husband for Christmas… I think it is called Hope Springs Eternal, it’s about a self-centered man who has lost sharing himself with his wife – in the end, finally, he realizes his wrong. It takes a lot to open up his eyes. You also might give him the movie “Courageous.”

        Tell him you are lonely. You will probably find that he is lonely too.

        The good thing is that in talking about it, you can both find out how to spend some time to just be with eachother.

  21. Oh, and I forgot to mention that there is an ex wife of 24 years,, who I hear comments about how she shopped all the time and blew his money AND hers and had 12 different credit cards charged to the limit,, had to get a 2nd mortgage at one point just to get her out of debt,,, all she did was spend spend spend,,,
    so by all means,,,
    MEN GO HUNTING,,, WHILE WE WOMEN ”SHOP” to pass our time.
    give me a break,,, I rarely spend alot of money on anything,, I dont even have a credit card,, but even if i did,, it still makes no sense to me…
    it doesnt need to be ALL THE TIME,,, and another thing,, i work nights and he works days,,, he works monday thru friday,, i work wednesday nite thru sunday nite, 3rd shift,,, that doesnt leave a heck of alot of ‘me or us’ time,, OR for me to get tired enuf of him to look forward to 10 days alone when gun season starts up,, because ive already dealt with several wkends of ‘bow’ season,,, and before that it was fishing,,, whatever,,,, UGH
    and I have no problem with what he does during the day while I have to sleep for work,, I dont expect him to set around and be bored or not have a life of his own,, but there IS a limit,, and it seems to go above and beyond.
    There are alot of things we will never have because he already had it all once before and doesnt want to deal with again,, or he’s already done it,,,
    well I havent,,, and that bugs me too
    so what the verdict is,, i guess only time will tell,,, but i find myself really curious what has happened to some of these women who have posted here last year or longer,, did anything change, anything get better,, worse??
    What happened?
    Does anyone know or even read any of these comments here anymore?
    I’m curious…

  22. Hi Dedee,
    In a loving relationship, my man wants me with him on his hunting trip. My man went on an elk hunt that he had stalked out during the summer. He looks forward to that time, I think there’s something in a man that’s put there to help conquer and feed families from back in the day when not everyone could get to a market or grocery store, when men naturally hunted for food in order to feed their family for the winter. But anyway, the time to hunt finally came. He and a friend went out and it rained and rained and rained. It was, I think, the most miserable hunt he ever had. I’d been trying to figure out how to give him the gift of going after that elk again (the season is so short and I love my man and he loves me.) So when he was on his way out, he called me. He was exhausted. He was literally pulling the trailer out the forest road. I asked him, did you listen to my voice mail? You should have listened… It meant that he turned the trailer around, and later that night, my young son and I showed up with fresh food and supplies, I traded places with the other hunter and the other hunter took my car home. The result… My man was SO EXHAUSTED that he needed me. I know a bit about elk hunting because of my husband. I knew that he’d been working too hard for himself and his partner, doing all the work out here in the vast wilderness. I encouraged him to sleep in, I made him breakfast, he sat in the sunshine while someone waited on him. I didn’t let him hunt early. I encouraged him to go when he KNEW it was the right time. I sent him off with a nice amount of healthy food. I made him hot coffee. When he hiked out to his tree stand, he was loved, well fed, refreshed (still tired) and when he got to the top of the tree stand, we could talk on the walkies. I told him, now call those elk. His tired body was going to wait but instead, he listened to me. He called. And by doing so, he called one up, made the shot, waited, and sat in his tree eating the nice food I’d prepared for him. Later he came back to us, and we helped him haul out the elk. It was an amazing experience. We both know of our love for eachother. It’s about sharing our lives, our hearts, our experiences and caring for one another. Life is short. It is good to enjoy our husband and treat him with such love that he is delighted as well and wants to lavish his love upon us. That’s just how it works, this recipricoal relationship of give and give. If we start giving and loving beyond the norm, they’ll notice, and give back as well. So Dedee, I’d say, how sweet it is that you have a man who wants you to come to do his favorite things, that’s like being best friends. Talk to him, and tell him some things that you would also like. Communicate. As the two of you give to eachother, you’ll both be mutually encouraged and your love and friendship will grow. Remember time is short. Love while you can.

  23. Dedee I should include, his love for me is great. He knows it was a sacrifice and a gift for me to come and serve him. He is delighted (and probably amazed) that his very first successful elk was when we were with him. Being a woman is a special thing, we have the opportunity to really love and respect and encourage the man who we made vows with. In return, he is strengthened, supported, and he feels so amazingly love. With the woman he made vows with, he gets to give by listening, loving, giving and serving us as well. Try this and you’ll see. Lavish love upon your man with no complaint. Have a great time and be truly loving. Really, really give. Give beyond the normal measure and he’ll notice. He’ll see your love and support and encouragement, no nagging aloud. In return, watch what happens. Communicate your desire to him. Is it Hawaii in 2011? Communicate your desire as you lavish love upon him and watch your relationship grow deeply.

  24. ummmmmmm,,, ok,, i think i might vomit now…
    good for you,, thats your life & apparently it works well for you,,,
    but it sounds as if you are assuming that we are all bitching nagging wives ,,, or that we dont appreciate ”our man” enuff, or vise versa…
    First, I would never call him ” my man”,, we are not back in the cave man days,,, and this is not the times of hunt or starve.
    AS for a hunting vacation, I have no real objection to that, altho I would not choose to go out and kill anything,, being out there and taking pictures or whatever would be nice,,, even a couple trips a year,, no problem,,,
    what most of us are venting about is that it happens too much and takes too much time away and patience gets lost in translation once it’s taken for grantid,,
    thanks for the reply tho

  25. Hi Deedee, I don’t often refer to him as “My Man” except here, where it seems to be a problem that women are having with their man; their husband or boyfriend, and I’m keeping his name out of it. Looking back, it does look strange that I referred to him so much that way.

    I guess I’m thinking that if you communicate your desires to your husband while also loving him and acting upon your love, that in return, you’ll reap a harvest of him giving to you as well, and not being taken for granted. Hope things work out for you both. Another idea: Maybe you can make a suprise vacation for the two of you that has nothing to do with hunting — a gift for the both of you.

  26. I was googling husband deer hunting, as I am left home with the kiddos yet again, when I found this blog. My husband is in the military and is gone for a whole year out of every two years on deployment and weeks and months at a time for trainings. He is currently hunting because he needs “down time.” He gets frustrated at me when I am gone for a few hours in the evening for Bible study or a trip to the library for my sanity, but he leaves for two weeks, less than 2 months after he was gone for a YEAR. When he is home, he is awesome. He helps. He hangs out with the kids and teaches them stuff. But…he is already gone less than half the time. He would never let me go get “down time” by myself for two weeks, let alone a day or two. Ugh.

  27. Hi Erin,

    Hang in there. You must love him alot. I’ve been working through this issues for years and trying to figure out what’s up with it. I grew up with a dad who was gone overseas for so much of the year that from a child’s perspective I understand the absence. You military wives, like my mom, are amazing women who have sacrificed alot.

    For him, he is used to being away, it’s probably easy for him to spend the time away, thinking you’ll be alright. For him, this trip is probably some sort of return to what “normal” felt like before he was in the military.

    But for you, you’re the caretaker yet once again, and instead of the two of you getting away together, it’s him without you – and I’ve found, that – it hurts. “The two shall become one” — we love our husband, there’s so much more here as a couple.

    One thing that has helped me is talking to the older woman at our church who’s husband has been hunting for a lifetime; they’ve done it together. Another thing is helping your husband to turn it into a family thing, slowly over time. It may just be in the future that dad takes the kids… One by one… That’s what my husband has done… It has become beautiful. And one year I took him on a very special hunt… It was awesome for us. Maybe I’ll post it online where you can read it, it might be a blessing to you.

    Maybe you can help him to get a vision for the future of him bringing the kids into it… It will mean “Hunter Safety Ed” probably, and it can mean very special family closeness and memories in years to come. Here’s a song my daughter wrote for her hunter daddy many years ago:

  28. I am begining to hate this hunting season. I have been married a year and one month. When my husband and I were dating he lived up her in Indiana and I in Virginia. He went hunting a few times, but came every month to see me whenever he got the chance. We were so in love, or so I thought. The year we were married he never went hunting except maybe a couple times. Now we are struggling in our marriage because he is so into it and obviously addicted. He works Monday thru Saturday most of the time. He gets home, hardly home an hour and out the door again for almost 4 hours. he does that 5 out of 7 days in a week. Then doesn’t hardly pay attention to me anymore except when he wants somethin. Never likes to listen to what I want to do or suggest. This morning he didn’t have to go in to work. So I thought maybe I could get him to stay and spend time with me. doesn’t even say Good Morning beautiful like he used to. Just said I gotta go. I said “WHY”!? his reply was just to go hunting. :( I tried to get him to stay home. I went with him a couple times. but it’s just not something I enjoy but I do it to make him happy. He doesn’t treat me like he used to. I don’t feel important or precious or loved by him anymore. its only what he wants if its something i wanna do he gets mad and yells at me or says its my fault or i don’t love him or want to spend time with him. I don’t know what to do.

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