Sunday night I was planning on attending the Gretchen Wilson show at our local festival. I was there Friday night and saw Shaggy and George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic. My husband runs the beer garden every year and I rarely see him because I end up on the other side of the park in the VIP section. So before he left Sunday morning I said …
Excited festival attendee: I think I might come to the show tonight to see Gretchen Wilson.
The Warden: You better behave tonight.
And he left.
So then I’m all …
He wasn’t any where near me.
I can’t help that people like me and want to bring me a drink, give me t-shirts, bring me a drink, invite me on stage, bring me a drink, invite me on stage to dance with the band, bring me a drink.
That is not my fault.
So then I started to recall Friday night and wondered how I hadn’t behaved …
When I got to the fest, I made my way to the VIP section, ran for a drink and came back to talk to my friend LaWanda …
Me & LaWanda
She was working the gate along with her bodyguard – a police officer. When the police officer saw me approaching he quickly turned and said …
Officer not so friendly: Excuse me, you can’t go out with your drink.
Law abiding citizen: I’m not going out with my drink, I came to talk to my friend.
And I didn’t shut up: Were you gonna handcuff me?
Ummm: Because I’ll let you.
Okay, so that might be my fault but you can never have enough police officer friends.
Later in the evening one of my festival Sugar Daddys invited me on stage …
That wasn’t my fault … I was invited.
Then I caught my friend dancing in the middle of the park by herself …
Okay, that is kind of my fault. I should never leave my friend dancing alone in the middle of park.
So then I kept seeing this guy all around the park and I started calling him Devin …
Hey Devin …
And I’m so glad I made friends with Devin because when I saw how long the booze line was and I saw my friend Devin was next in line, I was all … Hey Devin .. I so need to get your picture.
And I took their picture.
So I could cut in line.
Umm … My fault and I’m so ashamed.
And please note … that is his wife’s purse. I know this because I said … I am so loving your purse Devin.
So then we headed off to the side of the stage to watch the band. The band people were inviting the crowd people on stage to dance. And I was all … OH MY DANCING QUEEN … I need to get on stage. And then it happened … the guy from the band extended his hand out to mine and I so eloquently quickly pranced across the stage and started dancing.
That was not my fault … I was invited.
But then as I was dancing I was all … OH MY DANCE OFF … people can see me!
And I ran off the stage.
I think I was on stage for a total of 20 seconds.
Then the concert was over and while my friend and I headed across the park to the beer garden some guy yelled to me …
HEY … you were the hottest chick on stage.
And I was all … OH MY GAWDDDD Really? Hahaha I was the hottest chick on stage?
And he was all … Yea you were.
And I was all … OH MY GAWDDDD hahaha I was the hottest chick on stage.
And I couldn’t wait to get to the beer garden to tell my husband I was the hottest chick on stage.
And that was the only thing I told him.
So I’d like to know who told on me?
Because obviously he heard more than his wife being the hottest chick on stage.
Have a good day all … and for the record … drunk guys after concerts think all chicks are hot.
The week on The Hunter’s Wife ~ how I misbehaved at Sunday’s show.