I Don’t Think His Tractor’s Sexy

Next door to my office I have an older neighbor lady.  She’s been widowed for about 3 years.  Since her grumpy husband passed away, I watch out for Grandma.  If our power goes out, I walk over and check on Grandma.  If something in the neighborhood happens, I walk over and check on Grandma.  If I notice her blinds aren’t open by 10:00 a.m., I get worried because Grandma normally opens her curtains at 9:00 a.m.

I’m a nice nosy neighbor like that.

A couple of months ago we had a raccoon ripping up our shingles on our roof, so I thought I’d tell Grandma’s son when he comes to cut her grass.

Please note:  I’ve never talked to Grandma’s son before the raccoon conversation. Nor was I sure the man cutting her grass was her son.

Nice neighbor me:  Are you Mary’s son?

Grass cutting guy:  Why?

Nice neighbor me:  We have a raccoon ripping off singles on our roof and I wanted to let you all know in case you had a problem.  Wasn’t sure if Mary has had a problem before or might have one now?

Grass cutting son:  Why would you need to know?

Nice neighbor me:  I don’t need to know.  Just wanted to let you know so she doesn’t have a problem.  I wouldn’t have known had I not seen shingles blown off the roof.  We had to have many replaced.  Just wanted to make sure Mary doesn’t have a problem.

Ass, I mean grass cutting son:  I’m sure she doesn’t.

Nice neighbor me:  Okay, thank you.  Enjoy your day.

Who acts like this?

And then I’m sitting at my desk watching him go by on his tractor …

Thinking …

I knew you were grumpy man’s son.  He was as mean as you.  And why I only talked to him once.  And that is all I’ll talk to you.   Your poor mother.

And he’d go the other way …

And I would never wish evil on anyone.

But I hope you don’t go on the roof.

You might fall.

Or get bit by a raccoon.

And he’d go back again …

And if you think your tractor’s sexy, it’s not.

Have a good day all … I need to pull out my Ken-doo doll like Barbie-doo

I do know a little somethin’ somethin’ about trapping raccoons now.

Oops Ass Cutting Grass Son just ran into a tree.  And a raccoon fall off the roof and bit him.

People are mean.

911 What’s your emergency:  I think the chick next door was trying to sick a raccoon on me and she got attacked.

5 thoughts on “I Don’t Think His Tractor’s Sexy”

  1. Too bad the tractor moves too slow for paintball practice. Don’t mind me. I’m just sittin’ over here with my evil hat on.

    Keep up the good work and being the nice neighbor and thank you for the giggle.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *