8 Forks Missing

Last night, while in the middle of cooking dinner, I noticed I was missing about 8 forks.

How does 8 forks go missing?

So I said to Hazel (the hunting husband), who has been home on vacation for the past 2 months and in charge of most of the cooking, cleaning, etc …

Where are all the forks?

Jody, I don’t know.

So rather than start an argument over 8 forks missing, I went about my kitchen business mumbling to myself.

And making sure he heard me …

How does 8 forks go missing?
Does someone not know where the forks go?
How in the world does 8 &*^&&ing forks go missing?
It’s not like there’s anyone else that lives here.
It’s just me and Hazel.
And I know where the forks belong.
So if it wasn’t me????? There is only one other person that lives HERE.

Maybe someone knocked at the door and said … Oh hey can I borrow a fork? So Hazel gave them EIGHT &*&(ing forks?


Maybe they’re in the &*&^ing garage next to my steak knives.

And Hazel just sat there.
Not answering.
Pretending not to hear me.
And you know why?

Have a good day … And next year for Christmas Hazel is only getting a box of forks … And when Hazel sat down to dinner last night … HE DIDN’T HAVE A FORK.

Because I don’t know where in the hell the rest of the forks went.

And because I’m no longer using curse words, pretend *&*(ing means freaking. Or flipping.


Another great blog to visit:

Walkin’ With the Wild Woman

And Gretchen, thank you for always sharing my content!


2 thoughts on “8 Forks Missing”

  1. Jody,
    Much like the washing machine requires sacrificial socks, i sincerely believe the dishwasher does the same. In our case it requires the monthly sacrifice of a teaspoon. Preferably a virgin.

    On a different note. On 99% of websites, i automatically ignore all the click ads. I don’t know why but i really want the rc helicopter your site is pushing with REAL firing missiles. Of course I just know i’ll shoot my eye out.

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