Player #1: My Mom ~ Mother Hooter. (The mother of … well … hooters ~ #1 is appropriate for her because … well … she’s had 5 kids and carries extra panties in her purse.)
Player #2: My sister ~ Sister Hooter. (Obviously with hooters ~ #2 is appropriate for her because … umm … no comment.)
I’m baby hooter with no number because … well … I’m not allowed on the team.
Team Hooter loves to frequent Hooters – the actual wing joint. So we decided to road trip it to Hooters on Sunday and watch the IU basketball game.
Mother hooter and sister hooter show up at my house in the grocery getter (the family mini van) …
As soon as I got in the grocery getter …
Baby Hooter (Me): I probably should drive.
Sister Hooter: Yea you should.
Baby Hooter: Just drive, we’re already in the grocery getter.
Baby Hooter: And you need to put your seat belt on.
This is probably why I should’ve drove …
Baby Hooter: Why are you going that way?
Sister Hooter: You always go this way.
Baby Hooter: I don’t.
So sister hooter whips the grocery getter around.
And if we had groceries in the back, they would’ve been all over the grocery getter.
Baby Hooter with my passenger seat break on, one hand on the dash and the other on the door: Oh Jesus save us! You almost ran over the curb. And hit the stop sign.
I should’ve drove …
Baby Hooter: Seriously?! Why do you have to always speed? You’re speeding.
Sister Hooter: I told you! You should have drove.
Baby Hooter: OHHHH is that why you wanted me to drive so I’m not on you about your driving? Let’s re-cap – How many tickets have you had???
Sister Hooter: Not counting seat belts. 4.
Baby Hooter: Yes counting seat belts.
Sister Hooter: Umm … I really don’t know the answer to that.
Baby Hooter: You’re speeding.
Baby Hooter: Please stop riding @ss.
Me to Mother Hooter in the backseat in la la land …
Baby Hooter: Is this how she drives you around town?
Me to sister hooter …
Baby Hooter: You’re gonna kill Driving Ms. Daisy.
And Driving Ms. Daisy finally speaks …
Mother Hooter: Girls!!! I knew I should’ve taken a Xanax before I left the house.
Baby Hooter: Ya well … you’re about to see how quickly one can drink 4 beers IF WE EVEN MAKE IT THERE ALIVE.
Have a good day all … and “one” had several beers and our drive home was actually a very pleasant one.
Thank you Coors Light!